Overcoming reluctance/fear to work on "big idea" projects

I know I'm not the only one who struggles to bring myself to work on the quilting projects that involve my own design work—even though, at some level, these are the ones that I most want to work on. I think I understand why this is. It's much scarier to work on a project of one's own design. The risks are bigger, there can be many dead ends, and if the end product is not up to expectations, it's hard not to feel that it's a personal failure. Much easier, and more immediately gratifying, to work with someone else's pattern, play around with fabrics, and get predictably enjoyable results. And I get a lot of pleasure from doing just that. So, I understand why it's a challenge to turn myself to the "big idea" quilts. But I really do want to work on these projects also, and they are often in my thoughts and sketchbook. Earlier this week I figured out a way to get them into my hands as well—here's what I did, in case it might help someone else.

1) I set out two different color index cards. Blue for "big idea" projects and yellow for the others (patterns or just playing around). I wrote a descriptor at the top of the card and then penciled in a list of the main things involved in doing the project. I pinned these up on a 20x30 piece of foam core (the photo above). Just having these written down where I can see them is a help, relieving me of the continual mental inventorying that I'm otherwise prone to.

2) Using a white 5x8 card marked with daily blocks for a month, I wrote down for Tuesday two things I wanted to work on that morning. And then I did them!


Somehow the little act of writing it down helped me act on the intention to get back to the quilt on "shelter" that I've been thinking about for two years. I don't want my quilting to become like the work for my job--dominated by timetables and deadlines. On the other hand, I need some mechanism to help me face the scary projects. For a week now, this has been working. I think the key elements are:
--writing down the intention
--limiting the number of projects to work on in any one chunk of time
--deciding on a daily basis, not trying to make a plan for a week or more

With this in place, here's what I've worked on this week:
Tuesday: Stones (a 4x4 coaster with stones from painted fabric) and maquettes for Shelter
Wednesday: same as Monday
Thursday: Painted fabric. Doing the series of maquettes on Monday and Tuesday led me to try out a new direction for fabric for Shelter.
Friday: Blog entry; read on mixing colors for painting

I was interested to see that I didn't put any "play" stuff in this week. I had anticipated doing one "big idea" and one "play" thing each day. But it feels good to get some momentum going on the Shelter project, so I've focused on that. I expect to put in play stuff next week.

About the blocks of time: I am fortunate that I am now working just half-time, and for the next several months I anticipate a schedule of being at home in the morning and at work in the afternoon. So my project schedule is for blocks of time each morning. If I were working full-time, I would still do this same kind of schedule, but the blocks would be fewer and shorter, in the evenings and on the weekends.